Why Bed Sharing is Awesome (Especially for Breastfeeding Moms!)
Let’s talk about something that so many parents struggle with—baby sleep. If you’ve ever been up at 3 AM, desperately trying to put your baby down without waking them, only to have them pop their eyes open the second they touch the crib… you are NOT alone.
Some parents prefer not to bed share, and that’s totally okay! But here’s the thing—bed sharing is the biological norm for human babies. It’s what they’re designed for. Babies are carry mammals, meaning they’re wired to sleep close to their caregiver, just like baby primates and other mammals that rely on their parents for warmth and safety.
So if your baby refuses to sleep alone and only settles when snuggled next to you, it’s not because they’re being difficult. It’s because they’re human.
And guess what? When done safely, bed sharing can be absolutely amazing—especially for breastfeeding moms.
Why Bed Sharing Just Makes Sense
Before cribs, bassinets, and baby monitors, babies slept with their parents. That’s how we survived as a species. Bed sharing makes nighttime parenting easier, more restful, and more natural—and science backs that up.
Here’s why so many moms and dads love bed sharing:
✅ More sleep (for everyone!)
Instead of getting up a dozen times a night, fumbling with lights and blankets, you can breastfeed half-asleep and drift right back into slumber. Studies show that breastfeeding parents who bed share actually get more total sleep than those who don’t.
✅ Easier breastfeeding & dream feeding
Breastfed babies wake frequently to nurse—it’s how they regulate your milk supply and grow. Bed sharing allows for effortless nighttime nursing and dream feeding, so both parents and baby sleep better.
✅ Calmer, happier baby
Babies are biologically programmed to want closeness. When they sleep next to you, they can hear your heartbeat, feel your warmth, and sync their breathing to yours. This lowers their stress levels and helps them sleep longer stretches.
✅ Dads feel more connected
While moms often get bonding time through breastfeeding and holding baby throughout the day, bed sharing and co-sleeping allow dads to strengthen their bond, too. Many fathers say they feel closer and more involved in their baby’s life when they wake up next to them and experience those nighttime snuggles.
✅ Promotes independence (yes, really!)
It’s a myth that bed sharing creates clingy kids. Research shows that babies who feel safe and connected at night develop confidence and independence sooner because they know they have a secure base to return to.
✅ Reduces infant sleep-related deaths (when done safely)
Studies suggest that breastfeeding and sleeping in close proximity reduce the risk of infant sleep-related deaths. Safe bed sharing can actually be a protective factor, as parents naturally sleep lighter and respond to their baby’s needs more quickly.
How to Bed Share Safely
If you’re going to bed share, safety is key. Follow these guidelines to create a safe sleep space:
The “Safe Sleep Seven” (from La Leche League):
1️⃣ No smoking – Neither parent should smoke.
2️⃣ Sober parents – No alcohol, drugs, or sleep-inducing medications.
3️⃣ Breastfeeding mother – Breastfeeding creates a natural sleep rhythm between mom and baby.
4️⃣ Healthy, full-term baby – Bed sharing is safest when baby is full-term and gaining weight well.
5️⃣ Baby sleeps on their back – Never place baby on their stomach or side.
6️⃣ Safe sleep surface – Firm mattress, no gaps, no pillows or heavy blankets near baby.
7️⃣ No overheating – Dress baby lightly and keep the room cool.
🚫 NEVER bed share on a couch or recliner! This is one of the biggest risks for infant sleep-related deaths. If you’re too tired to safely hold your baby while sitting, lying down in a safe bed is a much better option.
Other Ways to Sleep Close to Your Baby
Not sure if full bed sharing is right for you? No worries—there are other ways to co-sleep (which just means sleeping near your baby).
1️⃣ Sidecar Crib (The Best of Both Worlds!)
A crib or bassinet pushed up against your bed with the side removed allows for easy access to baby without fully bed sharing.
💡 Great for: Parents who want baby close but need a separate space for safety or peace of mind.
2️⃣ Room Sharing
This means baby sleeps in their own crib or bassinet in the same room as you. The AAP recommends this for at least the first 6 months to reduce infant sleep-related deaths.
💡 Great for: Parents who want baby nearby but prefer separate sleep spaces.
3️⃣ Floor Bed (For Toddlers and Older Babies)
Some parents transition to a floor mattress for their toddler, allowing them to come to the parent’s bed when needed while giving them a sense of independence.
💡 Great for: Families following Montessori-style sleep, or parents who want a gentle transition out of bed sharing.
What’s Right for You?
At the end of the day, every family is different. If your baby sleeps great in a crib, awesome! If they only sleep when pressed up against you like a little barnacle, that’s totally normal too.
The most important thing is that everyone gets as much rest as possible while keeping baby safe.
So if you’ve been feeling guilty about bed sharing—don’t. You’re not creating bad habits. You’re meeting your baby’s biological needs in the way humans have done for thousands of years.
Sleep however works best for your family, and remember—you’re doing an amazing job, mama (and dad too!).