“Fed is Best” – Or Is It? The Reality of Infant Nutrition
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Fed is best.” It’s plastered all over parenting forums, social media, and even the offices of pediatricians. The intention is clear—no baby should go hungry. But let’s take a step back and ask: Is being fed really the gold standard?
The truth is, fed is not best. Fed is the bare minimum requirement for sustaining life. If we want to talk about what’s actually best for babies, there’s no argument: breast milk is the biologically normal and optimal source of infant nutrition.
Breast Milk vs. Formula: A Nutritional Breakdown
Breast milk isn’t just food—it’s a living, dynamic, and ever-changing substance designed specifically for human babies. It’s not just about calories and macronutrients; it’s about an intricate cocktail of immune-boosting components, enzymes, and hormones that no formula can replicate.
Here’s why breast milk will always be superior:
✅ Custom-Tailored Nutrition – Breast milk changes daily/hourly and is even different in the morning vs at night, to meet the specific needs of your baby, adjusting in composition based on age, environment, and even exposure to illness. Formula is a one-size-fits-all solution.
✅ Immune Protection – Breast milk contains antibodies (like secretory IgA) that help protect against infections, reducing the risk of respiratory illnesses, ear infections, and gastrointestinal issues. Formula does not.
✅ Gut Health – The oligosaccharides in breast milk feed beneficial gut bacteria, promoting a strong and healthy microbiome. Formula attempts to mimic this but cannot match the complexity.
✅ Cognitive Benefits – Studies show that breastfed babies have higher IQs on average, likely due to the long-chain fatty acids (such as DHA) that are abundant in human milk.
✅ Reduced Risk of Chronic Diseases – Breastfeeding is associated with lower rates of obesity, diabetes, and even certain cancers later in life.
✅ Bonding & Hormonal Benefits – Breastfeeding releases oxytocin (the “love hormone”), which helps with maternal bonding, postpartum healing, and even reducing the risk of postpartum depression.
But What About Formula?
Formula absolutely has its place in infant nutrition. Some mothers cannot breastfeed due to medical conditions, past trauma, lack of support, or necessary medications. Some babies have medical needs that require supplementation. In these cases, formula is a lifesaving tool—and thank goodness we have it!
But let’s be honest: it is not equal to breast milk. It is not better than breast milk. And it never will be.
Donor Milk: The Closest Alternative to Breastfeeding
For mothers who cannot breastfeed but still want to provide human milk for their babies, donor breast milk is an incredible option. Many parents don’t even realize that donated milk is a possibility, but it can be a game-changer for babies who need it.
Where to Find Donated Breast Milk
🍼 Milk Banks – Nonprofit milk banks, such as those accredited by the Human Milk Banking Association of North America (HMBANA), screen donors thoroughly and pasteurize milk for safety. This is the safest option, often used for preemies in NICUs.
🍼 Mother-to-Mother Milk Sharing – Informal donation networks like Eats on Feets and Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HM4HB) connect families who want to donate directly to those in need. This is a more personal option but requires trust and informed decision-making about screening.
🍼 Hospital Programs – Some hospitals provide access to donor milk for babies in need, especially for preterm or medically fragile infants.
Why Donor Milk Matters
✔️ It Preserves the Benefits of Breast Milk – Babies still receive the immune factors, enzymes, and bioavailable nutrients that formula lacks.
✔️ It’s Easier to Digest – Donor milk is gentler on a baby’s stomach compared to formula, especially for preemies or those with digestive sensitivities.
✔️ It Can Be a Lifesaver – For babies with medical conditions, allergies, or mothers who cannot produce enough milk, donor milk is often the best possible alternative.
While donor milk isn’t always accessible due to cost or supply limitations, raising awareness about its availability is crucial. More families should know that formula is not the only option when breastfeeding isn’t possible.
The Danger of “Fed is Best”
The “fed is best” movement started as a way to reduce mom-shaming, and in some cases, that’s valid. No mother should feel like a failure for feeding her baby in the best way she can.
However, the phrase is often weaponized to downplay the importance of breastfeeding. It creates a false equivalence between breast milk and formula, discouraging mothers from seeking support when they struggle. Instead of “fed is best,” we should be saying:
✨ “Informed is best.” Every mother deserves evidence-based information on feeding options.
✨ “Supported is best.” Because most breastfeeding struggles stem from lack of guidance, not lack of ability.
✨ “Breast is best—when possible.” And when it’s not, let’s make sure mothers have access to donor milk or the best formula options available.
Final Thoughts
Breastfeeding isn’t always easy, and it’s not always possible—but it should always be protected, encouraged, and prioritized. Formula has its place, but let’s not pretend it’s just as good. It isn’t. And that’s okay!
Instead of settling for just fed, let’s strive for fully nourished, optimally supported, and genuinely informed. That’s what’s best.